How to control anxiety in the moment to feel better
Are you feeling anxious right now?
We all suffer to a greater or lesser extent from moments of anxiety. It’s part of our primitive protection mechanism and is very useful to alert us, if we find ourselves in a dangerous or difficult situation that doesn’t feel right. It is simply designed to keep us safe from harm.
But for some people, anxiety can take over even when a real physical threat is not present. It can often be ‘anchored’ through repeated negative thinking styles and excessive rumination on bad thoughts. Anxiety can then become your ever present friend, constantly reminding you to worry about this or to avoid that, to feel fearful, interrupting your sleep, stamping on your motivation and your freedom to simply enjoy life.
Or it can join you whenever you are in a certain situation, but you feel okay the rest of time. This is particularly tricky if you have no choice but to be in that situation. Maybe you have to travel a lot for work and have a fear of flying, or you have to speak at meetings which fills you with dread. Whatever it is, you are not alone and you are not weird, strange or broken!
So, how to control anxiety in the moment?
The number one tool I always teach my clients who see me for anxiety related conditions, is ‘ratio breathing’. It’s a tool that cuts anxiety off at the source. How great is that?
The first trigger for anxiety is quicker, shallower breathing. This cascades all the other physical anxiety symptoms, such as agitation, tight or faster breathing and higher heart rate. Your body is getting ready to fight or flee, but of course you’re doing neither and so these stress hormones stay high because you’re not taking any physical action to use them up.
When you breathe slowly, deeply and calmly, your brain is tricked into thinking there is no threat (which in fact, there is actually no real, physical threat anyway!). This is because when there is a real threat to your life, your breathing becomes faster and more shallow. By controlling your breathing, you control all the other anxiety symptoms as well, due to the cascade effect.
If you purposely breathe out longer than you breathe in, this rebalances your blood oxygen/carbon dioxide ratio to what is normal when you are calm.
Your body then has to calm down (regardless of what tricks your thoughts/imagination is playing on you). It’s hardwired into your nervous system. There is just no way round it for your body. Your brain responds to the rebalanced blood gases and the calm slow breathing. This makes your brain think everything is good and you are safe!
By standing down the fight or flight threat response, like switching off a false burglar alarm, your body and then your mind simply calms down.
So, if you’re feeling anxious or stressed and want to know how to control anxiety in the moment, do the following:
- Stop and notice our feet on the ground.
- Drop your shoulders. Loosen your jaw so it drops slightly and rest your tongue on the roof of your mouth.
- Focus on your breath (close you eyes if you wish):
- Take a slow breath in (to the count of 7 or 5 in your mind):
- Then slowly breathe out (to the count of 11 or 7 in your mind):
If you do this for a minute or so, you’ll be amazed how quickly you calm down! Panic Attacks and How to Control Them
We call this ‘7/11 breathing’ but the numbers are entirely up to you, just as long as the out-breath is longer than the in-breath and it is slow and controlled.
If you can, try to inhale deeply into your belly. Imagine your belly expanding and deflating like a balloon. It often helps to learn this when lying down and placing your hands on your abdomen and feeling them move in and out with your breath.
Like everything, to become proficient, it takes practice. But once you have mastered this technique, you will have learned how to control anxiety in the moment and will never look back. Further breathing exercises
Here’s to your calm in 2023!