Are you a ‘Control Freak’ AND do you often feel anxious?
Anxiety comes with the territory of needing to control everything and everyone in our lives and the chances are, that you’ve probably not connected this trait with your feelings of stress and anxiety.
Here’s the deal: When we think that our anxiety or stress is caused by external events, people, things or places in the outside world, we’ll do everything we can to ‘control’ or avoid those parts of our lives in the hope of stopping our anxiety arising.
Unfortunately, you only really have true control over yourself. Others will always disappoint you, best laid plans will go awry, things won’t work when you want them to and certain unwanted situations and places will always be there…
If you feel like this, just take a moment to think about how much time, energy and thinking you devote in trying to ensure the world works in a certain way in order to meet your rules, so that you can feel okay. Also ask yourself, how is this really working for you?
So let’s consider what is really going on in your mind:
Those things in the outside world are not actually creating your feelings. Your feelings are being created from your thinking in that moment.
When you’re thinking anxious thoughts, you will experience anxious feelings. Those anxious feelings, create more anxious thoughts and a vicious circle is set up.
So, how can you cut through this vicious circle of anxiety?
Simply stop and notice how your thinking is creating your feelings at any given moment.
Just stop and notice.
Then calm those feelings down with some slow, controlled deep breathing and/or a simple mindfulness meditation or other calming relaxing activity. Just create some breathing space for yourself, it doesn’t have to be for long, even a few minutes is enough to calm your mind and body down.
Your brain just needs to learn that you are a lot safer than you think you are.